Advance warning: For those of you expecting some cool geeky detail in this blog entry, I apologize in advance (well, wait, for those of you that want that, a fellow Managed DirectX developer, Jason Olson, has posted an interview with Tom Miller, the brains behind Managed DirectX).
I'm sitting in a Starbucks in Santa Barbara right now on the tail end of a business trip, and thought this is a good time to reflect on last year and what is coming in this year.
It's safe to say that last year was really good for me, I got two books done on game programming and had a GREAT time at work.
This year holds a lot of potential for me as well, except for one little detail: My father is gravely ill from cancer. Considering how close I have been to my father, this isn't simply one of those trivial "fact of life" things to deal with. Some days, in fact, I feel as if I will be absolutely crushed by the emotional burden. I've tried to compensate with it in several ways, mostly by burying my nose in World of Wardcraft at home, which is a great escape, but doesn't solve the emotional turmoil I'm facing. Even worse, as I try to accomplish writing my new book on Avalon gaming and do my "normal" day job, I find that my ability to focus/concentrate is practically nonexistent. This means my work moves at a snail's pace and my bookwriting is...well, I have a table of contents and a very bad draft of one chapter, and that's after several weeks.
In any case, I'm still trying to learn how to deal with this. I love my job and I love writing books on gaming (most of the time 
), so this all tends to have a spiraling effect (because I not only worry about my dad's failing health, but then I get all messed up because I start worrying about my poor work performance). I'm hoping that by writing about this that I can get myself on some road to emotional recovery.
Anyway, that's the big issue I'm dealing with, but I still have honest "New Year Resolutions" to accomplish. One bit of good news is that I am NOT doing the traditional resolution of "I'm going to start losing weight", that's because I already have been (35 lbs in the last 10 weeks!). I'm in the 20/20 program just like Jeff Sandquist and Brian Benincasa were, and it's had a GREAT effect on me physically (And I'm less than 1/2 way done with the complete program!). So what are my top resolutions this year?
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Get smarter about managing my time and priorities
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Finish my Avalon gaming book in time for PDC 2005
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Publish at least two articles on gaming with Managed DirectX
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Bring my life into better balance (more socializing with real people, more guitar playing, more fun)
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Do at least ONE thing that makes the world a better place for people that are less fortunate than I am
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And, of course, find some way to come to terms with what my dad is facing (I already lost my biological mother to cancer in '94, so on top of all this, I get the added worry that I'm genetically predisposed to cancer)
ok, that's enough somber notes for one day from me.